Day 3 Part 1 (while I'm at a WIFI hotspot) - Mountains, chili dogs and gay-friendly establishments

Since I am currently settled-in at Caribou Coffee (chosen for its free WIFI from which for me to upload the previous post) I'll give an update on the first portion of today's proceedings.

Mileage: I'll figure that all out at the end of the day.

Music: In Flames' Colony, Foo Fighters' The Color and the Shape and Eye of All's Eye of All (copies available for $5 :) )

The day began as any southern day should: waking-up to fresh squeezed orange juice, black coffee and a heaping bowl of grits! Thanks again to Jay for all of the hospitality.

Last night when I asked Jay what's the one thing in Chattanooga that you just have to do, otherwise you can't say that you were there (I want to point out, however, that on this trip I am not concerning myself with such "rites of passage" unless I feel so inclined, so I don't want anyone to give me shit if I drove through X town and didn't go to Y historical site), and he replied (with a noted delay), "Well, you can go up Lookout Mountain."

Sounded like a plan to me, since I had spent all of my time in Tennessee within 1 mile of route 75 the view from the interstate may not be representative of the state. The day began pretty overcast (in contrast to the beautiful weather the prior day), so visibility wasn't phenomenal, but I got some pretty decent views of the Tennessee valley:

I could have paid $20 to walk up to the tip-top, but in this weather (and at that price) no thank you. Besides, I was starting to get hungry again. Now where to go for lunch...

I decided to go to Atlanta for two reasons:

1. As kids my brother and I were for some reason huge Braves fans (his favorite player was David Justice, mine was Chipper Jones)
2. I always swore that some day I would go to the restaurant that epitomizes the allure of American junk cuisine (basically anything you would find on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives)

Just south of Georgia Tech's campus (and conveniently a block off of I-75) is the world's largest drive-in and the world's largest hot dog restaurant (two records, one restaurant, just for clarification): The Varsity! If you don't already know about this place then either Google it, or turn on the food network (you're sure to see it featured on some sort of show within a few hours).

The place is notorious for a parking capacity of 600+ cars, an ordering counter 30 meters wide, selling over 2 miles worth of hot dogs a day, and the obnoxious greeting of "WHAT'LL YA HAVE, WHAT'LL YA HAVE!?!?"

More description, as well as my drive up to the location can be found in this here video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otI2p1_w6Ms

As I park and walk-up to the almost vacant establishment (not very busy at 10:45AM, though the crowd probably quadrupled in the 20 minutes I was there) I pass by a young African American couple engaged in a fist fight as an older African American gentleman in a Varsity paper hat successfully breaks it up. Ahhh Atlanta!

As soon as I walk in the front door I'm assaulted by that beautiful greeting, "WHAT'LL YA HAVE, WHAT'LL YA HAVE!?!?" from no fewer than 5 people at once.

Having done my homework about the menu and ordering procedures (as any Philly native who has seen people banished to the back of the line at Pat's for ordering infractions would know to do) I make a direct line to the closest clerk and say "Ma'am, I'm having a number 2 with rings and a diet, make it large."

A face which is not quite curled into a sneer (the closest thing to a smile that you'll find here) tells me my total and accepts a $20 bill from me, giving me change in all ones. "Sorry bout the ones," I hear in an almost unintelligible voice, which I dismiss as fine and successfully halt myself from making some sort of strip club comment.

A moment later the tray seen below is offered to me, as well as an unprecedented "Thank you," from the clerk.

This unappetizing looking mess is a number 2 (chili cheese dog w/ mustard and chili cheese burger w/ mustard along with a heaping basket of fresh onion rings and a large diet coke (can't imagine I'll find any Pepsi in A-town).

Yeah, it doesn't look appetizing to me either, but considering that the hot dog is about indulgence, not dignity, I am very excited. The dog is a standard all-beef frank and the chili and cheese are arguably edible (just as it's supposed to be!), and both the dog and the burger seem to have been grilled inside their buns, leading to the crispy exterior almost sealing the meat inside. Brilliance! I gobble these suckers down with pleasure, occasionally pausing to chomp on an onion ring (wonderfully battered and crispy, with well-done onion inside) and take a swig from my Diet Coke (which to my delight is served with 50s-style crushed ice).

The meal goes down quickly and smoothly, and soon I plug away on my iPhone to find a WIFI spot from which to update this blog. It reveals that a Caribou Coffee (my favorite coffee chain) is 4 blocks north on Georgia Tech's campus, and has free WIFI! I drive-up, and am fortunate enough to get one of the three parking spots in the store's only free parking lot on the otherwise busy city street.

My, I am having good luck today! I walk inside to order a coffee (which I truly did not need with all of that Diet Coke in my system) and place my order with a very cute young barista, who doesn't seem to be very receptive to my subtle charm and advances. The gentleman behind me seems to be interested in striking-up conversation though, as are two tables of young gentlemen outside.

Yeah, I probably should have noticed the rainbow flag stickers that were adhered to the door of the coffee joint, but I had bigger things on my mind I suppose.

I now write this now on the porch of the shoppe, with the occasional gentleman, young or old, saying hello as they walk in or out of the store. Oh well, I have plenty of gay friends so this has never bothered me, and at least I can see my car full of valuables 10 feet in front of me so I shan't complain.

I've been uploading stuff for a bit too long, so I reckon I should hit the road to my next stop (the Planet Fitness in Birmingham, Alabama) where I hope to work-off the fast food and have a shower while I'm at it (hopefully the gay culture in the gym isn't as rampant).

It's hard to say when my next update will be, as I'm not sure where I will end up retiring for the night (after Birmingham I'm going to Tuscaloosa, home of University of Alabama, where I might just find some luck in places to crash with the college kids), so check Facebook for any status updates that I might make available.

A PUBLIC CRY-OUT: Please let me know if you have any contacts in Texas, as that is seeming like my biggest black-hole at the moment.

Cheers!