Time / distance traveled since last post: About 5.5 hours, about 300 miles
Total time / distance traveled: About 38 hours, 2700 miles
I write to you tonight from a pizza parlor across the street from the University of New Mexico, where my name currently sits at the bottom of the list for a well attended open-mic night that is already running over time. Yeahhh, I'm not going to get to serenade this crowd to the likes of Third Eye Blind, Everclear and Dynamite Hack tonight, but that's okay because by just walking into a bar with a guitar on hand you can apparently impress every female in sight without striking a note... It's reasons like this why I am ashamed to tell people that I play the guitar... a lot.
So the morning was a success, in that I awoke in that shithole motel significantly un-murdered, so I already had a certain optimistic outlook on the world for the day.
With my first stop being Walmart for a one-mile-from-overdue oil change and tire rotation, my outlook was diminished some by the technician who seemed to have little idea as to how motor oil works, but nonetheless whose wife is from Norristown, PA (small world). My oil changed, my tires rotated, and my chassis well lubed, I set-off for the reason why I had come to the fetid armpit of America that is Carlsbad, NM: Carlsbad Caverns.
So evidently Carlsbad Caverns is not in Carlsbad, New Mexico, but rather 20 miles south in a town that does not appear as though stomping grounds for truck stop serial killers. It certainly would have been nice to have known this last night, ay? Regardless, any poor words I may have had for New Mexico I quickly devoured, shat out and devoured again, as I suddenly found myself at the foot of the Guatalupe Mountains.
Now, I have claimed that this trip has been "all about" many different things, but when I first conceived it I always had visions of the southwest in mind. I remember being in the third grade and spending several weeks learning of the geology, flora and fauna of the region (which somehow gracefully transition into molecular virology and theoretical physics 10 years down the line), and never having been so excited to be in school. I remember learning all of this, being told that somewhere out there is an undisturbed natural habitat of cacti, gila monsters and tumbleweeds, and wondering if I would ever get to see such a thing. After all, it seemed so fantastical and distant, I wasn't quite sure if it was true or an obsolete biosphere that man and machinery had all but wiped out.
When I looked at the foot of that mountain and saw a cactus naturally growing out of it, I kind of got a little excited... and by a little excited I mean I started ascending the mountain (with my pant legs tucked into my argyle socks such as to prevent any critters from crawling up) until what seemed as though an informal path ended, and 6 foot tall jagged rocks began. Well, I suppose all of those chin-ups have to be put to some good use, right? I continued to climb past any semblance of trail until finally I reached the summit.
Over head turkey vultures were circling, riding the thermal rifts of the rocks and climbing in altitude without ever flapping their wings. Looking up at them was incredible, but not nearly as incredible as when the shadow of one such birds momentarily blocks out the sun as you're climbing a mountain in the Chihuahuan Desert.
I may or may not have stood valiantly atop the mountain with my arms stretched out for a moment, but my primary goal was the caverns, so I continued up the trail. Along the trail there were some cool American Indian cliff dwellings too:
Finally, after a couple more diversions, I reached the summit of the tallest mountain in the range, which holds the elevator down to the caverns.
Due to the minimal artificial lighting set in the caverns, and with my only camera being my iPhone, please allow for me to attempt to describe the indescribable. The caverns are the largest limestone caverns currently known, and while size is difficult to assess, I would say certain "rooms" could hold the entire Cowboys Stadium, save for the enormous and elaborate stalactites and stalagmites formed over eons by the calcium sulfate drip from the top of the once undersea caverns. Every "room" possessed different characteristics in the geological formations, from bushy "popcorn" to glossy "wet" formations and porous "dead" formations.
Let us not forget the cave-nipple:
The trail around the inside perimeter of the caverns is about 2 miles, and I may very well have set an all-time slow pace for someone with functional legs, but I just can't imagine when I'm going to get to see this place again. It's 5 hours in any direction from any shred of civilization and aside from the path of my trip doesn't connect the dots of any path I think I'll ever take again, so I just wanted to stop time while I was in there.
Eventually I emerged, having stayed hours past my projected amount of time, and without any hope of getting to Roswell on time to see the UFO museum before it closed for the day, so I drove the 10 mile, 10mph speed limit "Scenic Path" down the mountain range. This gravel path puts you within inches of tumbling over the sides of many cliffs, and they wait until halfway through to tell you that non-SUVS are not recommended for this path (the path was one-way... thanks for the tip!), but the serenity of being, if only for a moment, the sole person immersed in that ecosystem is pretty cool. Check the view from the top:
I don't have anything enlightening or humorous to say about this sign on the trail, but would rather let it speak for itself and use it as an album cover for a future hair metal side project:
But enough of this mushy nature bullshit! It's time for some fucking aliens!
Roswell, NM, turned out to be a much nicer town than I would have ever imagined. Aside from maintaining a healthy sense of humor about the source of their notoriety (from Burger King's sign saying "Aliens Welcome" to the First Bank of Roswell's logo being a UFO with alien peeking-out from behind it) the town actually seems like the oasis of civilization and commerce in the otherwise barren southeaster New Mexico. Still, check it:
I stopped in town for a decent grilled chicken-breast dinner, and then I was off again, headed up to Albuquerque (for a song half the length of the drive, refer to Weird Al's Albuquerque).
Aaaand back to the mushy nature bullshit. I was very happy to find that during this drive, there was one stretch of over 100 miles during which literally the only things which could be seen in any direction were the terrain of the high desert and distant mountain tops. I was so sincerely happy to find this (as was I sincerely happy to have gassed-up in Carlsbad), that for the first time I was disheartened to see civilization again (which at this point was only defined by a truck stop and abandoned buildings). During a later stretch of the road I got to run along side a half-mile or so long freight train, right as the sun was setting.
I also saw two tumbleweeds crossing the road! Yeah, they actually exist! I hit one with my car (or should I say it chose an inopportune time to find another wind gust) and it exploded in a cloud of twigs, barely producing a "click" when it made contact with the car.
Rolling into Albuquerque on the legendary Route 66 (on which I may or may not have gotten my kicks), I again found myself in the middle of a mountain range, except this time I could tell (albeit night time by now) that these mountains were not covered in cacti, yucca and other foliage, but were rather rocky, red clay cliffs and mesas. I cannot wait until morning so that I can see them!
From what I can so far see, Albuquerque is a clean, bright city with shit tons of cheap motels in good areas (leaving a very good first impression). After settling into the Day's Inn, I headed-out to the main strip adjacent to the UNM campus which brought me to the very bar at which I started this post!
Since the bar offered free WIFI, I clicked and clacked away, as more than one older (late 40s) gentleman came up to me asking what the maps and pictures were all about, to which I explained my trip. If Alabamians were the most fascinated by my journey so far, then Albuquerqueans are the most proud of my journey.
Since my dad died, I've kind of taken to listening to what late-middle aged men have to say about life (since they're old enough to have had their midlife crisis and long since resolved it by now), and I was happy to find that all of the gents who struck up conversations with me took similar trips at different stages of their lives. We would rejoice in many modus operandi of the road, such as asking the locals the best way to get somewhere in order to get the most interesting path as opposed to using GPS or Google Maps, and the dismissal of generic women who can be found in the same form in any city bar in the United States. I've got to say, I'm happy to have made these men proud, but I'm a little concerned as to why they were all hanging out in a college bar on a Tuesday night making comments about girls young enough to be their youngest daughters...
I am now back at the hotel, lying in bed and ready to face the day ahead! Don't know what I'm going in A-town tomorrow aside from meeting with my cousin Kirsten around 6, but I guess we'll have to find out together in tomorrow's post!
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